taking our mind of things

taking our mind of things

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Feeling of hope

This morning was wonderful with JD. As usual, he had his normal Tuesday and Thursday tutoring. But it was advised by his neuropsych doctor that just maybe we should also have a visit with his class. Now JD has had a couple stop-ins briefly while dropping his brother off. But this morning, he took that first step to return to his normal. A real life. Not full of non-stop doctors, hospitals and being made to feel different. Not that there wasn't a real life or normal with what we have been dealing with. But this is different. This is what a typical child should do.

So after dropping Ptolemy off at his class, we stopped in with the tutor to let her know we would be running a bit late. Left our coats, took a deep breath, and hand and hand we walked down the hall to his classroom.

"Mommy, my door is the second on the left!" JD so proudly informed me, as if I didn't already know.

The moment we walked in the door, his classmates all looked up. It was still morning routines, as everyone had just got in.

"JD'S HERE!" I heard many exclaim. Took me a few seconds to compose myself, and not let those few happy misty eyed tears escape.

Classmates gathered around him and he was swallowed up. I watched him disappear into classroom happenings with his friends. He fit in. No one treated him different. I saw him smile, I saw pain escape him. I saw for the first time in oh so long... him being a kid!!

The teacher had the class pick out their books for their book bins, and JD got to take part. His books were chosen so they would be ready for his return. I saw it feel more real for him. He felt still part of the group. They all took their bins to the carpet. And JD's best friend from before he was sick. The little boy he helped feel comfortable on that first day of school. The little boy he ran up to, since he had in him pre-k and saw he was scared and crying, and put his hand around him and asked to sit next to him. Well that little boy was beaming ear to ear as he sat next to JD. Normal child chit chat was commenced. Not "how was therapy? How are you feeling? What happened?" But childhood fun. Talking about the lego book in hand, or toys. For that brief moment, he was a kid again. He wasn't sick, he didn't have limitations. He was HIMSELF. I saw him sit taller on the carpet with his friends. I saw him put his hand away from his neck, and fight to hold it on his own. I saw him want to be!

And I cried. I turned away from the group for that moment. I needed to. I realized my little man could handle himself.

The teacher let me know she had created an idea for us all to keep in touch with what was going on. And we both stepped back and watched in awe at the wonder of a group of friends can do! I mentioned how I wish I could take a picture, but didn't think it would be right. And she said, "Well I can!" And she did. And she captured that perfect moment. That moment locked in my mind. For that moment. He was the little boy that was sitting on that rug 4 months ago!!

Am I scared with him going back to school next week. Most definitely! Worried more than I can admit to anyone. But seeing that, seeing those few 20 minutes. I know my baby is going to be fine. More than fine...he is going to fly!

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